If I only had a brain

Right, so I’m looking to deploy a intranet server, allowing for some modern tools across our departments.  Ubuntu 22 LTS is a fair choice, there have been some complaints regarding the desktop, but I think 22 server is pretty solid.  We are going to be installing LAMP, Joomla and GLPI.

1. Get yourself a Ubuntu 22 machine going (for me, on VMware 7).
2. Install LAMP:    $ sudo apt install lamp-server^
3. Now is a good time to save.
4. Configure mysql for Joomla:
   $ mysql -u root -p
   > CREATE DATABASE joomla;
   > CREATE USER ‘joomla’@’localhost’ IDENTIFIED BY ‘Password’;
   > GRANT ALL PRIVILEGES ON joomla.* TO ‘joomla’@’localhost’;
5. Install Joomla:   letmeGOOGLEthatforyou
   $ wget <insert http link to joomla download>
   $ mkdir /var/www/html/joomla
   $ (tar -xvf / unzip) downloaded_joomla_archive /var/www/html/joomla
   $ sudo chown -R www-data:www-data /var/www/html/joomla/
6. Create apache joomla.conf file:
   $ sudo (vi / vim / nano) /etc/apache2/sites-available/joomla.conf

   
   <VirtualHost *:80>
   
   ServerAdmin webmaster@domain.com
   
   ServerName domain.com
   ServerAlias www.domain.com
   DocumentRoot /var/www/html/joomla
   
   <Directory /var/www/html/joomla/>
           Options FollowSymlinks
           AllowOverride All
           Require all granted
   </Directory>
   
   ErrorLog ${APACHE_LOG_DIR}/domain.com_error.log
   CustomLog ${APACHE_LOG_DIR}/domain.com_access.log combined
   
   </VirtualHost>
   
   

7. Add the site to apache:
   $ sudo a2ensite joomla.conf
   $ sudo a2enmod rewrite
   $ sudo systemctl restart apache2
8. Finalize Joomla Installation by visiting the site.
9. Now is also a good time to save 🙂

Resources:
Joomla 3.10.11: https://downloads.joomla.org/cms/joomla3/3-10-11/Joomla_3-10-11-Stable-Full_Package.zip

Notes:
I spent like 10 minutes typing the same goddamn line into mysql for no good fscking reason… The fscks depreciated the use of “GRANT ALL PRIVILEGES TO ‘user’@’host’ IDENTIFIED BY ‘Password’;“… and couldn’t add a even slightly descriptive error – just some numbers. Eat a line of shitcode, mysql developers. Choke on it too.